Knowledge

I learn different things about life on a daily basis depending on whether or not I am paying attention. The older I get the more enlightened I become. I hate being so closed minded. As open minded as I am...I am still closed off to things and people I do not understand. In my defense, I usually sit quietly when i meet new people to listen and to evaluate how much of me I really want to put out there. I guess over time I will continue to grow and become open to such. I forgot what I came on here to write, so I just going to go mess around on Pinterest.

When will it end....

Email after email...It has been 2 years (on the 31st of December) that I have  been divorced, and I am still going through it at the hands of my ex. NOTHING I say gets through. So I decided to just stop talking. I'm in this on my own. Raising these kids is going to be hard, I am going to make a lot of mistakes. The bottom line is that we will get through. I had a nice weekend, the kids are at my moms and come home today. I realized that I stand in my own way a lot. I really tried to talk myself out of everything I ended up doing this weekend. I feel really good that I did not give in though. I don't know what God has in store for me or my kids, but it must be better that what I had. Got a therapy appointment on Friday, I sincerely hope that helps me in the long run. I feel like I have to many people pulling me in so many different directions. But I am stronger than I realize....

?

In the back yard meditating, enjoying the evening air. Trying my hardest to zone out. Went to the shrink today, it's going be a long walk out of this insanity I find myself in. One day at a time is all i can handle right now, so that's all I'll take for now

:)

It's been a very rough week. I am elated...not I am ELATED that this week is coming to a close. Summer is over so someone needs to tell the sun that it is time to turn the heat down. Getting ready to go to school. So far so good, I am about 4 weeks into a 16 week semester. So it's all good!! I just wrote a lengthy email, so I forgot what I was going to say. I guess I'll get back to it later. Have to go finish getting ready for school.

Ho hum....that's what I feel like

School is going well go far, but my mental and physical is suffering. Im depressed and tired and I have gained 10+ pounds. For the past 2 days I have changed, or shall I say...made an effort to change my eating habits. I have also vowed to stop drinking for at least a week and see if I can see a significant dip in that number on the scale. Instead of gorging myself on tasty treats, I eat a smaller portion. I like to snack. So I keep cheerios on me. I think I eat out of habit, it's something to do with my hands and it is crunchy, double win there. Drinking more water as well, some of this has to be water weight. My skin is going down hill as well, I am 35 and I am developing acne. Not a good look. Even more reason for me to stay in my little cocoon. Everything is not bad, and I am grateful to God that I have the ability to rebound. Hopefully I wont be down for long.

Almost done

In the last class of the day. Hoping to leave early. Want to get a pedicure but I doubt I will have enough time to do so. I feel so odd. So out of place. It's like I am not in sync with whatever path I'm supposed to be. I'm always looking for a deeper meaning or connection. Class it's starting...

Blah

Feeling a little down, not to down but down all the same. I need to get my mind right for the rest of the week. I did my hair I'm feeling better about that. Tomorrow I have a geography test so I need to study but of course I'll do so right the test. Okay I'm done, taking my medicine then I'll knock out