Lost.......

12 days into the new year and I find myself stuck between feeling lost and feeling uplifted. I'm trying to break some bad habits as relationships go. Fighting myself along the way. The wall that I had once torn down I find myself slowly rebuilding. I feel like I need to shift my focus somewhat, but I'm not at all sure how to do it. I made a commitment to myself to start praying more, reading my bible, being active at church, teaching my kids and being a more attentive listener. I've been doing a lot of research on ways to make my life better. I recently walked away from a job I held for three weeks. I feel like God has something better for me. That I don't have to just except what the "world" gives me as my truth. I definitely do play a part in my fate. As long as I take a step toward my dream, it can be attained. I take one step, and believe the promise in my heart that God wants greatness for me and allow Him to open the right doors and line me up with the right people to make those dreams come true. I'm ready now. I'm 34 and I need more in my life. I'm divorced, and I want a husband. I'm unemployed and I want a great job that I can go to everyday without dreading it. I have 4 children and I want to be the best teacher on life and how to survive that I can possibly be. SO.....I am making a decision to consciously walk away from the mess I have created with my life. To try submitting myself to the POSSIBILITY that God does love me and would like me to have the desires of my heart. I have not made many great choices, but I believe that this one is a step in the right direction. This is not easy by any means. Who wants to deny themselves? I'm already suffering the effects of loneliness, fear, and self-doubt. When those feeling hit, I pray and ask for comfort to make it through. I NEED to come out of this on top. I NEED my life to turn around. I NEED to heal. I hope through my struggle, through my journey for change....I can be a blessing to someone going through something similar...... IF your taking the time to read my words...thanks....and be blessed!