Struggling

Seriously doubting myself, that differ I had within me weeks ago is but a small ember now. I'm troubled, this morning my son asked me if I was happy, I told him I was alright. Afterward I regretted telling him that. I wish I'd told him Moe of the truth, I feel so alone. I have prayed and I am on auto pilot. Taking care of the kids and just going through the motions. I have a vision of what I'd like my life to look like, and I'm struggling with that vision. It's hurting me, when I know it's supposed to make me stronger. Lord help me